Houston TX Feb. '99
Dirty, hairy, sack totin’ hitchhikers
Bearded Harley Davidson ridin’ bikers
All makin’ miles, getting’ on down the road
Here I sit awaitin’ on a load.
Laundry’s done, truck’s all clean
Had plenty of time to primp and preen
Could be makin’ money, gettin' on down the road
Here I sit awaitin' on a load.
Drank so much coffee, my eyes done turned brown
One more cup, I swear I'd drown
Should be haulin' freight, gettin' on down the road
Here I sit awaitin' on a load.
Dopers cruisin' the lot hopin' to score
Listenin' to the cb, watchin' drivers doin' chores
Could be goin' home, gettin' on down the road
Here I sit awaitin' on a load.
Tired to the bone, bored to tears
Think I been a sittin' here a hundred years
Fell asleep instead of gettin' on down the road
Here I sit awaitin' on a load.
Slept past dinner, never opened a peeper
Didn't call in, just stayed in the sleeper
Missed the only load, could of been gettin' on down the road
Here I sit awaitin' on a load.
The Silent Dancer
Two steps left then two steps right
The dancer dances through the night
One step forward then one step back
Gracefully swinging her arms and arching her neck
Who is this silent solitary dancer of the evening
Tall and slender hair an ebony black wing
Dancing alone, solo in the bobbing crowd
No one seems to notice her dancing silently around
She doesn’t dance to the be bop rhythm of any known kind
But to her own unknown music humming in her mind
I watched the woman dance her dance so slow not fast
And wondered if she was reincarnated from the past
Seeing the serenity and peace upon her face
Withdrawn from fighting the human race
She could have been a Joan of Arc leading her army
Listening to voices and seeing visions no one else could see
The solitary dancer alone in her own special place
Not seeing anyone and on her face there is no trace
That she had been misunderstood and labeled retarded
But watching her dance I wondered what her face guarded
Could it be that what she mentally saw gave her peace
And allowed her to go through life alone but at least
Not suffering from slights from the hostile mob
Just silently dancing and being on intimate terms with God.
Oxymoron
I went to the desert to drown in the sand
Forever to ponder the fate of man.
I went to the mountains to sleep in the snow
So all of life's secrets I would know.
I went into to the ocean to dry my tears
Wept for the young souls lost through the years.
I went to the plains to hunger amid plenty
Once and for all to live my life gently.
I went into the earth to see the light
So I could find peace in the lonely night.
I went into the sky to touch the ground
So I could stop my life from whirling around.
Driving Through My Tears
Driving along the white striped ebony road
Pushing myself to the limit to deliver the load
The night is empty, no stars, no light of any kind
Loneliness and isolation creep into my fatigued mind
I gaze out the night shrouded windows of my ride
Searching the shoulders for wildlife’s eyes glowing wide
Talking to myself I say it would be just my luck
To hit a big assed deer with my shiny pink truck
Laughing at myself for being silly and speaking out loud
(Talking to one’s self leads to insanity and can’t be allowed)
Thinking about all who have come and gone in my life
They all said they loved me some took me for wife
I loved them totally allowing them to use me in return
They took everything I had until love left and anger burned
They drained my heart and soul and then they left
Once again I was alone, hurt, wounded, and bereft
I waited and searched and waited some more
For someone to come who sees my heart’s open door
Some have stopped, but didn’t stay, not liking what they saw
Not telling me what it was so I could mend the fatal flaw
I drive through the night thinking of the coming empty years
My heart lonely, I am alone, my face awash with tears
The Waiting Room
Walking through the door hand in hand
Hands distinguished by time’s spots and thin gold bands
Grey and stooped they approach the counter
Plainly afraid the woman draws her dignity around her
Clutched in her hand are papers that read
Free lodging to spouses in need
The old gent leans over and kisses her cheek
She wipes a tear and tries not to appear weak
The receptionist speaks loudly…we all hear
Your husband has to have surgery or he has less than a year
‘I know that my dear’ the old lady whispers ‘it’s cancer we have to beat’
Then the old lady falters a little and sways on her feet
Her husband pats her arm as they finish their business
We all look away from the emotional scene that we have witnessed
After they totter out of the door they stop to embrace
Then they slowly walk away leaving no trace
Except in our minds and hearts as we wonder
How it’ll turn out while we await our turn to see the doctor
Farewell Bend Oregon-January 2000
Pristine, glittering blanket of virginal white
Unmarked except by the travelers of the night
Rabbits searching for a tasty plant to nibble
Deer and antelope going to graze crop stubble
And us, the purveyors of the nation's goods
Lights reflecting back at us from beyond our hoods
In the deceptive softness of a snow covered road
Silently it falls adding weight to the load
Decisions to make - chain or park - what chance to take
As long as one stays alive what difference does it make
The wind blows making the flakes dance through the air
Through the white-out blizzard our eyes tear as we stare
Taillights gleam in front of us faintly pink through the salt
Not on the road though as we first thought
Sliding to a stop to check an upside-down rig with dread
Prying open the doors we find two drivers dead
Tears trailing down our icy cheeks we sadly know
That there are no medals for those who truck through the snow
Hurry Up and Wait (Or a Day in the Life)
Dispatched on a hot load need to run fast
Will have to do 1500 miles in a day and a half
Get to the shippers...not the right numbers
Broker's got dyslexia the fumbler
Call back in ten I am told, hurry up and wait.
Called back in ten, broker's gone to lunch
No one else knows anything, what a bunch
Phoned in a hour, brokers away from his desk
Rang back in fifteen, feel like a pest
Now the broker's calling customer, hurry up and wait.
Finally get the right numbers, went around to the dock
Fifteen trucks in line, drivers all watching the clock
Three hours later, eighth in a still long line
Caught up the paperwork, cleaned the truck to kill time
What do I do now, hurry up and wait.
Number two in line, angry enough to slay
Know I won't make it, no time to sleep or play
Check my log book, good, got room to lie
It's a lost cause, but I still gotta try
First in line Hurrah, hurry up and wait.
Bump the dock, loaders go on break
Don't know how much more of this I can take
Forklift runs out of gas, its 4:55 and I get amused
When the dock foreman walks up, he delivers the news
"Sorry" he says "your load's been canceled", hurry up and wait.
Dragon
Like a dragon gleaming red gold in the sun
I soar and float the winds seemingly having fun
Being free and unhindered I go where I want
I provide my own needs, quietly self-reliant
Brave of heart like a dragon I no longer fear
any man who might hurt me I let no one near
to my wounded heart broken so many times
Like a dragon I've developed scales unseen so fine
that slightly shimmer on the edge of consciousness
No one comes near a dragon fearing the fierceness
so I too become fierce to ward off harm
to protect myself from user’s cool seeming charm
Like a dragon I guard myself like a cache of jewels
Because no one wants me except for a sexual duel
I may be alone and hate it but if that’s my fate
then like a dragon I'll be alone without a loving mate
I'll soar alone among the clouds on fiery wings
and sit in solitary splendor to ponder great things
Like a dragon gleaming red gold in the lonely sky
brave of heart I soar alone and so very high
Trucker's Tears
Truckers give up much hauling freight up and down the road
Taking our important jobs seriously to be on time to deliver our load
Living this life ain’t easy living in a box twenty four hours, seven days a week
You gotta be tough to handle this job, it ain’t no place for the timid or the meek
We bottle up our anguish like water behind a dam through the years
Cause if we truckers started crying we’d cry a river of tears
We miss the births of babies, not there to hear their first cry
Miss their first step, birthdays and games played under the blue sky
We aren’t there when they go off to war to send them on their way
We were a thousand miles away from home delivering our load that day
We bottle up our anguish like water behind a dam through the years
Cause if we truckers started crying we’d cry a river of tears
Our loved ones are used to us never being home when they need us there
Though we try to get home, the load is always hot and needs to get somewhere
Kids get sick, pipes freeze up, the car breaks down, they gotta take the bus
Shippers, receivers and dispatchers are the only ones who can depend on us
We bottle up our anguish like water behind a dam through the years
Cause if we truckers started crying we’d cry a river of tears
Though we move everything this nation makes and needs across the highways of this land
And are first on the scene of accidents, we offer comfort to the hurt and hold the dying’s hand
We used to be respected, now they say we’re druggies, trucks the weapon of a killing spree
We still keep on moving freight, serving our country in our own way to keep America free
But we still bottle up our anguish like water behind a dam through the years
Cause if we truckers started crying we’d cry a river of tears.
Corners
In the corner of any club or bar
You’ll find someone setting who’s looks jar
Because of their mindset or appearance not allowed
To join in the groups and conversation
That go on through the night’s duration
Into the crowd they gaze
No longer able to be shocked or amazed
They just sit in their corner quietly watching
All the lures thrown out and all of the catchin’
Moving in their chairs in time with the music’s beat
They try to calm their tap dancing feet
Wishing someone would ask them to dance to and fro
Joining in with the line dancers going heel and toe
This social misfit is scared to take a chance
By asking one of the crowd ‘do ya wanna dance?’
In every night’s dark corners bathed in neon
You find the watchers with no one to lean on
Hidden watching the others having fun
They stay until the band’s last set is done
Then set out to find their solitary way home
To feed the dog, to cry a little and be sadly alone.
Is It You?
your words hit softly against my ears
are you the one I have sought for years
or just a master player rolling the dice against my heart
knowing that the odds are against us we live too far apart.
I've gambled with my heart many times and lost
and damned near died from the emotional cost,
but I am still out here searching for the one
to be my life partner ‘til life is done.
I listen to your words and think they cannot be for me
am I dreaming, reading words of a love like my fantasy
of a dark knight in armor who would be brave enough
to attack the walls I have built so high, so tough
and come to me with heart open to teach me to love
and who would protect my heart with a mailed glove.
a knight strong and true who I could give all my love to.
From my moated tower so high, my heart cries out...is it you?